While your parents are angry and abusive, you can learn how to release the anger in your life and treat others better. Many others, including myself, have survived our parents’ child-rearing. When you make it out of childhood and young adulthood alive, you can reflect more clearly on the experience of having lived with your parents.
Many people have experienced this type of abuse, figured out a way to make peace with it and used this difficult part of their lives to accomplish good things. I’ve written an entire book on how to make peace with this kind of abuse which you can pick up here. It can give you coping skills and strength for other difficult situations. Your parents love to brag and show you off – nothing more than bragging and showing off a product they created.
US parents believe in letting their kids take important decisions independently. They also let their kids choose career options on their own, whereas 18% of Indian parents want their kids to join IT firms. This, again, the highest from other parenting cultures.
This is similar to surviving torture or any unpleasant situation. The parents who rule your life now will not do so forever. It’s not entirely their fault – they are the product of their parents, culture and Indian mindset. For every damaging comment and insult they hurl, you can try to give yourself a different meaning of it or change the context for yourself. Try to be understanding and empathetic of their behavior, as challenging as it may be. They are challenging you to be your highest and most spiritual self.
Be willing to forgive, understand and love your parents, knowing that they really have no idea what they’re doing. As I’ve explained above, you know why they’re acting the way they are. Spend the time that you have working on accepting, loving and being compassionate with yourself.
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Despite being surrounded by ideals of independence, the child feels trapped under the control of their parents. As they grow up, They find that their parents were wrong on many aspects and that Western culture is not the devil. I’ve seen so many Indian parents fear the “Western” culture here, on this sub, Quora and many others. They’re afraid of people that aren’t Indian due to their practices and ways of thinking. Many believe that other cultures are wrong, and that it’s something that their kids cannot be a part of. Some generational gaps can be closed as newer generations enter this world.
Someone whose religion is the thread that ties together their values, world views and beliefs. Someone whose culture emphasized family involvement even on personal matters. And while his family only cared that he was happy, Sam waited patiently and respectfully for mine to get on board. I’ve always identified as a Sikh, but it’s been hard to reconcile my identity in my dating life. Before I met my husband, Sam, I dated both Sikh and non-Sikh men. Honestly, I often struggled when I went on dates with Sikh men.
I’ve also met some parents who’d try to pass down religion and vegetarianism and language to their kids, even if they had zero interest in it. I’m all for keeping the culture but they shouldn’t use it to control the kids. A prime example of these differing generational viewpoints is my religious upbringing.
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These implementations will help parents and kids develop in unimaginable ways. Indian kids will become vulnerable to face challenges in a better way and will come out stronger than ever. It is not that the style of parenting in India is wrong; it is just that parents can try to get prepared in a better way. Moreover, Indian parents should stop being biased regarding passion, earning, and interests. Let your kids do what they are interested in doing more. US parents don’t feed their kids after they attain a certain age.
Dating problems only Indians who live with their parents can rela… Which is precisely the tension in Meet the Patels, the new documentary featuring anastasia date Ravi and filmed by his sister, Geeta. In a nutshell, the movie asks what happens when your own hopes and dreams clash with those your parents have.
If you aren’t feeling the love and emotional support at home, you’ll have to find ways to cultivate your love for yourself from within. Finding ways to express your feelings is a helpful way to deal with the rejection, pain and hurt that your parents are causing you. Surround yourself with positive people, books and messages. While your parents may be poisoning your ears with insults and throwing darts at your soul, choose to combat their impact by proactively spending time around positive people and messages.
They want to say they love you and support you, but don’t know how to voice that. I know I know – they are the problem and are the source of the greatest pain in your life. While you can’t change your parents, their attitude or behavior, you have a priceless opportunity to work on yourself.